Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.