start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I was the real Stig...

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.