I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.