For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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humiliating little girls

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.