When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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make south park refferences every day

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Courtesy flush.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.