I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.