When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.