Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.