I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.