when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Look at my poop before flushing

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.