Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.