When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Vote for the other guy

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Only use the left earphone.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.