When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.