I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I **** with no hands.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.