when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

I wonder if elections are rigged?

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

I lift my butt when I'm farting

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.