- Things You Think Only You Do

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

only read the short jokes on this website

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.