acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.