Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.