Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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i masturbate with my feet

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.