I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.