I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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make south park refferences every day

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.