Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I mean Diana Ross.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.