....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.