accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.