Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.