Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.