Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I mean Diana Ross.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.