I hold my breath in elevators

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.