after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.