when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.