Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.