Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.