feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.