Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.