when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.