Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Pee in the shower

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.