feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.