Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.