- Things You Think Only You Do

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

i masturbate with my feet

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

make south park refferences every day

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

I was the real Stig...

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

The older I get the more honest I get

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.