Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

fap

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Being fat

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.