Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Courtesy flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.