Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.