Mayada stupid

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I scratch and sniff.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.