When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Smoking in the shower.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.