- Things You Think Only You Do

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

Sleep with pillow between legs

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.