When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

thumb_up thumb_down

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

thumb_up thumb_down

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -10

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.