Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

try to give your friends spirit animals

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I have a phobia of incest

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.