- Things You Think Only You Do

Courtesy flush.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.