i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have a phobia of incest

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.