Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I was the real Stig...

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.