Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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My parents are annoying.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.