....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -124

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

thumb_up thumb_down +23

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Save more than once on your favourite game.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.