I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.