- Things You Think Only You Do

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

only read the short jokes on this website

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Being fat

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.