You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.