in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.