Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Mayada stupid

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.