start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.