I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.