I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

thumb_up thumb_down

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.