Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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listen to madonnas new album

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Sitting down in the shower

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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i masturbate with my feet

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.