Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.