Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.