Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.