try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I was not born in the country I am living in now

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Make up a song to yourself.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.