I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.