try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.