Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.