Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.