Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.