When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Being fat

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.