Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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i masturbate with my feet

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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make south park refferences every day

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I was the real Stig...

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I have a phobia of incest

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Mayada stupid

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.