Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Courtesy flush.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Picking my nose.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.