Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Smoking in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -44

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -46

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Only use the left earphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

thumb_up thumb_down -58

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.