Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.