Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -80

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -82

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -110

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -124

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +37

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.