When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I scratch and sniff.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.