Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.