If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Sleep with pillow between legs

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.