Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.