At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.