I have autofocus in my eyes.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.