I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.