When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.