Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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fap

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Picking my nose.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.