If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.