Sleep with pillow between legs

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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fap

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Picking my nose.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.