When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.