turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.