I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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fap

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Only use the left earphone.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Sitting down in the shower

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.