browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.