Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.