browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.