When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Picking my nose.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.