If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.