Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Having gay sex

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.