I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.