Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.