Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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i use dental dams

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.