If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.