I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I eat ass

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Only use the left earphone.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.