I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.