I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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jack off

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.