clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -152

When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -154

Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

thumb_up thumb_down -23

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sitting next to a banana called James

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

thumb_up thumb_down -92

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.