I really like taking shits.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.