When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.