When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.