Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.