cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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I really like taking shits.

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Go outside and pee.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.