DIY LOL
Car Failures
Parent Failure
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yo ima let you finish
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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool
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-50
Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.
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-68
Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.
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+21
Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.
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-9
Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.
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-17
When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up
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-45
go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.
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-55
Like a toy until it breaks.
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-85
When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.
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-133
Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!
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+12
whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.
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-22
clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.
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-32
I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)
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-54
Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.
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-100
Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins
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-136
Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.
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+43
Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.
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+43
after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel
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+11
say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.
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-3
I laugh easier when im with someone
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-37
Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.
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-47
I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!
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-49
I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.
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-51
Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.
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-73
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.