Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

thumb_up thumb_down -156

Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

thumb_up thumb_down

jack off

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -13

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -107

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.