DIY LOL
Parent Failure
Quoted Coworkers
ethugtxt
yo ima let you finish
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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".
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+16
Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!
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+12
Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.
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-16
whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.
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-22
When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool
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-50
Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.
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-68
Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.
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-100
When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.
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-132
Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.
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+43
go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.
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-55
Like a toy until it breaks.
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-85
I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump
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-101
Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.
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+44
Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.
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+20
I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.
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-6
I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)
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-54
Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"
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-64
say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.
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-3
jack off
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-25
clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.
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-33
I laugh easier when im with someone
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-37
I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!
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-49
Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.
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-73
Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.
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+18
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.