Like a toy until it breaks.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.