Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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only read the short jokes on this website

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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fap

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Being fat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.