I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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only read the short jokes on this website

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.