getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -50

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -54

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -58

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -84

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -96

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.