sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.