Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I chew my ice cream.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.