I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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humiliating little girls

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Brake for tail-gaters

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Boinked my neighbor

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.