When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.