It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.