Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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I hit the frig after sex

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.