When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.