When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.