fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I meow when my cat meows.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.