Pretend my life is a videogame.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Pee in the shower

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.