Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.